I’ve been helping people for over 20 years now and something has become really clear: people can come up with all kinds of explanations to not doing those things which will help them transform their lives. These come principally in two guises. A reason or an excuse. But, what’s the difference? And does it matter?

Continue Reading >

Most of us have habits we want to break, traits we want to refine or skills we want to develop. But it can be hard. Why? Because we are working against ingrained programming that have developed over our lifetime. Some of them are inherited traits (nature) and others have formed through the passage of time (nurture). However, just because this is part of your programming, doesn’t mean you are stuck with them for life. The principles of neuroplasticity prove that you can, literally, change your mind.

Continue Reading >

Whatever you believe to be true about life, one thing is certain – time passes whether you like it or not. This, in turn, means that one of three things have happened:
1. You have moved closer to your goals
2. You have stayed where you are
3. You have slipped backwards

Continue Reading >

It was Einstein who said that you can’t fix a problem with the same thinking that caused it. This is one of the reasons why people stay stuck. Not for the want of trying. But it can feel like a constant internal battle which drains your energy and your confidence. Not only that but it can take you in the opposite direction to where you want to be.

Continue Reading >

A few days into 2017 and already many New Year’s Resolutions will be faltering, despite best intentions. This isn’t because people are weak but because the psyche is complicated. Knowing how to navigate the obstacles to achieve what you want for yourself is important if you are serious about making change happen. Most resolutions are about breaking bad habits.

Continue Reading >

The human mind is fascinating. In the many years I have been doing this work, what has become clear is the way we sabotage ourselves in life is a common problem with many faces: The woman who wants to lose weight but continues eating copious amounts of chocolate; The man who wants a closer relationship with his wife but continues to lie to her; The woman who wants to advance her career but allows herself to be treated like a doormat.

Continue Reading >

In the last article, I explained that feelings are your signposts to what is happening in your life. We explored the seven main negative emotions which, when ignored can cause them to become stronger, as though they are shouting to be heard. When you listen to what your feelings are telling you and respond appropriately, you are on your way to feeling a lot better about yourself, gaining perspective on a situation and having a healthier relationship with yourself and others.

Continue Reading >

Feelings are often labelled good or bad as if they are something to be sought (ie happiness) or avoided (ie sadness). But feelings are much more than this and have an essential function in our emotional and psychological wellbeing. If your feelings could talk, what would they say? Feelings are the physical representation of emotion. They communicate your wants and needs. They tell you when you are happy and when something isn’t right.

Continue Reading >

Do you want something in your life to be different? Perhaps to overcome a habit, increase self-esteem, improve a situation, develop a skill or manage stress more effectively? All change has 5 phases, according to the work of Prochaska and Di Clemente. It’s worth knowing these to see a) where you are and b) where you want to be. This article will help you to understand that.

Continue Reading >

As I write this, Mental Health Awareness week is coming up. But I find the term Mental Health unhelpful and creates a stigma which belies the real-world problems which many of us face at some time or another: stress, anxiety, depression and grief. The antonym of Mental Health is Emotional Resilience.

Continue Reading >