I’ve been helping people for over 20 years now and something has become really clear: people can come up with all kinds of explanations to not doing those things which will help them transform their lives. These come principally in two guises. A reason or an excuse. But, what’s the difference? And does it matter? Let’s look at the difference first:
The difference between a reason and an excuse
- A reason is something which is outside your control. There really is nothing you can do about it. Nada.
- An excuse looks like a reason but really it is within your control and you just didn’t make the change (commitment, goal, etc) a priority.
The seductive nature of excuses
Excuses are seductive because they get you out of having to be response-able. It takes effort to make changes and with other pulls on your time it can feel like you are just getting on with things when you are really holding yourself back. Or there may be a secondary gain (hidden benefit) to the problem which hasn’t been explored or addressed. It’s like an internal resistance caused by a hidden agenda that only your subconscious mind knows about. In which case you will get a lot of excuses coming up. Secondary gains nearly always exist whether you are aware of them or not. Otherwise change would be easy, wouldn’t it? Like the dieter who keeps eating chocolate. And the smoker who keeps reaching for ‘just one’ when he really wants to quit.
The Out of Ten Game
It’s OK to swap your priorities but it is really important that you are honest about it. Do you really want change? If so, how much do you want it on a scale of 1-10. Anything less than a 7 will be really hard work if you are doing it alone. What are you willing to give up to achieve it? Or what are you willing to put up with to keep the status quo?
And if you still aren’t sure about any of this, it is a sign that you could be stuck and that having a professional to guide you through will be your best option. If this could be true for you, why not arrange a no-obligation call? Get in touch or call on 0345 130 0854. You’ll be glad you did!