The expectation of Christmas is one of perfectly orchestrated joy, goodwill, hearty food and glorious gifts. We try so hard to achieve perfection that it really interferes with achieving it at all. Christmas TV ads are tugging at our heartstrings (and our purses).

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Co-dependence can be described as the need for a person to be a certain way in order for you to be OK. If you are more concerned with others’ needs than your own, is this selflessness or is it co-dependence? If you find yourself regularly ‘rescuing’ others, not only is this an indicator for co-dependence but it also means you are denying them the gift of growth.

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When two people argue and there seems no way to resolve it, there are factors at play which interfere with the truth. No matter how convinced we are of our ‘rightness’ we see things through a filter of experience, beliefs, deletions and distortions. Not because we want to, but because we have to.

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Co-dependency is a psychological state characterised by the need to protect or control other people and is often accompanied by self-neglect. People who suffer from co-dependency live a life that is based on others and their needs without taking care of themselves.

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