It was Mo Gawdat who said that happiness is an equation: it is equal to or greater than the difference beween events and your expectations of them. In other words, when hopes don’t match up to expectations, that’s when disappointment comes in to cloud your experience.
Christmas Hopes and Expectations
For many of us, Christmas is filled with so many hopes and expectations. This is mostly, but not exclusively, based on aspirational advertising and the airbrushed show-reels to be found within the “pages” of social media. But also, our desire to please and the years biggest opportunity to get all those happy hormones swirling around.
Of course, we all want things to be perfect: for us all to get along well, to have the most majestic feast, to give and receive gifts that delight, to have the best fun filled with belly laughs, hugs and excitement. And, for our bank balances to be healthy, despite the enormous burden we place upon it. Oh, and to stay calm and unflustered.
Oh, for the atmosphere to be jovial and kind and for everyone to do their bit, a positive vibe of fabulousness throughout the festivities, for our meals to be enjoyed and for everyone to exude goodwill and good humour from dawn ’til dusk until, at the end of the festivities, we fall into a dream-filled contented sleep.
But when we wish for perfection, we can only be disappointed. The level of effort and resources it takes only to fall short, which we doubtless will, because perfection is not a reasonable ask when there are so many variables involved that can affect all of our very best efforts.
5 Tips for a Better Christmas
Here are 5 tips to help you enjoy Christmas more:
- Expect things to go wrong and have a sense of humour about it. Some of my best Christmases have had epic fails weaved into them.
- Plan well in advance so you don’t have to do any last minute panic buys. This also helps you to budget. There’s nothing like a tight deadline to make you overspend.
- Agree on a modest amount to be spent on each person so there isn’t any competition for who spends the most. It isn’t what Christmas is about. Unless you decide it’s what Christmas is about of course. Secret Santa is an even better way to manage budgets and shopping stress.
- Get everyone to chip in to help. Someone in charge of the table, another in charge of the drinks, someone else is on vegetable duty, and someone else is looking after grandma, the little ones or both. This way you create a lovely team effort with no one person bearing the brunt of responsibility for everything. This may involve a bit of compromise, but it doesn’t all have to come from you.
- Have an emnesty for the day: any past resentments to be put to one side. This is a time for good will, connection and creating positive memories. If someone has a mood or a strop, let it be like water off a duck’s back. No need to retaliate, but you might want to diffuse the situation such as redirecting attention. Today is not the day to win or point-score but to foster connection. If there is someone in your life for whom this seems impossible, either have a word before the day to set boundaries, or have a session with me to talk through your options.
A Special GIFT
Remember to be kind to yourself This is not a test of endurance or achievement but a moment in time to be enjoyed. Because I love an acronym, I have come up with a festive GIFT for you to help you get the most from Christmas (some gifts are worth more than money):
Gratitude for what you have (not whether you want more)
Infinite self-compassion (because you are human)
Fun (because it is a wonderful way to neutralise tensions and because you deserve it)
Tranquil moments (even 5 minutes – because recharging your batteries is a gift in itself)
Here are some more articles that give you more tips about Christmas:
- Your Christmas Gift to Yourself: An Unexpected Superpower
- What Would Make You Happy This Christmas
- The Real Spirit of Christmas: How to Have a Happy Christmas
- Surviving Christmas
- How to Have a Stress-Free Christmas
Wishing you all you wish yourself for Christmas and the New Year.
Warmly
(c) Tricia Woolfrey 2024
PS If you would like to gift yourself a session with me, why not have a no obligation chat to discuss your options. I can be reached on 0345 130 0854. It may be the best thing you ever did.
