I am noticing more and more of my clients who suffer from ADHD. It may be that this is what they want help with, or they are suffering depression or anxiety and the ADHD may be either a cause or another element to add to their woes. It is happening often enough that I wanted to share some insights and strategies to help you cope – yes, coping with ADHD is a possibility.
What is ADHD
Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder is a form of neurodiversity (this means it is how your brain is wired) which can have a significant impact on someone’s life. There are three forms:
- Inattentive / easily distracted
- Impulsive / hyperactive
- Both
The symptoms can vary from person to person but include, and are not limited to: time blindness and difficulty managing time, poor organisation skills, struggling at school/university/work, impulsivity, starting things but not finishing, forgetting appointments, easily distracted from staying on task, fidget if have to sit still, tendency towards making mistakes, difficulty unwinding, problems assessing how long something might take, tendency to interrupt and/or not taking your turn when required.
The consequences can be difficulty reaching your potential, problems handling money, difficulty holding down a job and relationship issues. It can cause people to seek high levels of stimulation and to self-soothe with things like alcohol, food, social media, gambling, on-line shopping.
It is useful to note that the symptoms are only considered a disorder if they affect everyday functioning, otherwise it is a way of being in the world.
As a disorder, it can lead to feelings of frustration, anger, shame, guilt, anxiety and even depression. It can leave you feeling exhausted as you rush around trying to get things done.
The Upside of ADHD
Although the traits can be seen as problems, there are also traits that are positive. Again, everybody is different but these can include: creativity, positivity, quirky sense of humour, areas of great talent/intelligence. It is important to remember these, especially when life feels challenging.
The Good News
You will be pleased to know that, despite the challenges and the fact that it is the way you are wired, you can learn to live with ADHD and navigate your way in life successfully, using the following strategies:
1. Let people know
The first step is to let others know that the problems are because of a form of neuro-diversity and is the way you are born but that you are doing everything you can to improve the way you interact with the world. When people understand this they are more likely to react with compassion than frustration.
2. Identify and play to your strengths
As mentioned, there are definite gifts to be enjoyed. You can use and leverage these in your day-to-day life and perhaps let it inform your career choice.
3. Create structure and routine
I know this is difficult but it isn’t impossible and it will pave the way to experience less stress and chaos and being able to enjoy your life. People who have ADHD tend to prioritise those things which are fun and interesting and avoid that which they find boring. But we all need to do those things – such as getting ready for the day, paying bills, grocery shopping, organising appointments, dealing with problems, preparing meals, doing laundry, keep things moderately tidy and organised and taking care of your wellbeing. These are the building blocks that help us navigate life and live our life well. A well structured routine helps reduce chaos and stress and improve focus and productivity. Such routines help create consistency and predictability on a life of chaos.
4. Break things down
To avoid overwhelm, break the larger tasks into smaller ones. This makes them feel less daunting, and provides a sense of progress and achievement in your days.
5. Use tools to support you
There are lots of tools to help you manage life more easily. These include calendars, planners, timers, to-do lists and reminders to stay on track. Colour coding and labelling can be helpful too. Be careful though not to keep using new tools – the impulsivity may cause you to jump around or have too many that in themselves become unmanageable rather than helpful. Be intentional about which tools help you and use those consistently to gain full benefit. There are many tools out there and I found one (not tested so I won’t name it here) which is a task list with a timer (to encourage you to keep to the task for a specified period of time) and a break timer that you can set if you want to have a break before picking it up again.
6. Timing is important
When getting on with the “boring” stuff, think about whether you will be better to do the boring things first, or perhaps later in the day, but set a time of day in which to do it/them that suits you. Then, set a time that you will do it for. Then, reward yourself with something you find enjoyable and make sure that’s timed too so you don’t go down a slippery slope. For example, you may decide to pay the bills first thing in the morning so you get it out of the way. You might set your timer to do it for 15 minutes (keeps you focused and on task). You might decide that because it is such a short time, you don’t need a break, but after you finish you will reward yourself with making a call you know you fill find motivating.
7. Reduce social media and other electronic devices
Personally, I think that the increase in usage of social media, mobile phones, video games and some TV programs that have too much going on on screen at once have caused so many problems with people’s ability to focus. Reduce these, and anything like them, as much as you can. They can only worsen your symptoms.
8. Reduce stimulants
The previous item is a form of stimulation for the mind but also it is helpful to reduce other stimulants such as caffeine, alcohol, cigarettes, sugar and ultra-processed foods.
9. Manage stress
Stress exacerbates symptoms so do what you can to reduce your stress levels. A lot of what is already listed in this article will help. Additional considerations are things such as mindfulness, meditation, hypnosis (this MP3 helps reduce stress), get good quality sleep, regular exercise, yoga, using EFT, and walking in nature will all help reduce your stress.
10. Getting medication
Some people respond well to medication. To get the appropriate medication, you will need to consult your GP for a formal assessment and diagnosis. This is required to obtain meds for this condition. Be aware though that the NHS waiting lists can be very long for this. If you want a more immediate response, there are private clinics that can do the diagnosis for you.
Get professional help
It can be very challenging living life with ADHD and all the complexity it creates. Do consider seeing a professional to help you. If you want to explore working with me, do get in touch for a no-obligation chat to see if it may be the right thing for you.
And finally …
Living with ADHD can be challenging, but with determination and the right strategies, you can manage your symptoms effectively and lead a successful, enjoyable life. Remember that progress takes time and persistence, so do be patient with yourself and celebrate every success along the way.
To your health, happiness and success.
PS I have recorded an interview as part of my How to Manage Stress series with Michelle Ford who suffers from the condition. You might want to watch it.
(C) Tricia Woolfrey 2024
