Another year, another set of New Years’ Resolutions! Each year most of us make resolutions which we fail to keep. Why is this? Often we have what is called “secondary gains” to a problem. This means that, even though there is a part of us that wants something, there can be another part of us that is actually benefiting from the problem in some way. Secondary gains can be unconscious – something we are not aware of – and very powerful in sabotaging our best intentions.
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Willpower myths are what stand in the way of long-term change for many people. One thing I dread when meeting a client for the first time is if they ask for more willpower. It’s not that I don’t think having willpower is valuable – it is. It helps you overcome impulse and achieve goals. But the reason I am not a fan of it being the thing is that it’s an awful lot of work, isn’t it?
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