Do you feel that all you need is a lucky break? You’ve been working hard and now it is time for things to go your way?
Perhaps it’s work related, or a relationship is floundering or your finances have taken a turn. We all feel that luck is not on our side sometimes and it can feel so unfair when the effort has been there but not the results.
What to do?
So, what do you do? Give up? Wait? Hope? Could it really be that some people are just unlucky and ‘some guys have all the luck’ as the song goes? Or do you make your own luck? Luck seems to be a combination of effort, opportunity and a positive attitude. Here are some questions to focus your mind on improving your results:
5 Questions to ask yourself to increase your ‘luck’
- Have you taken the right steps towards your goal? Sometimes it is as simple as the effort being in the wrong activity – one which will not yield the results nearly as well as something else. For example, if it is your goal to improve your relationship with your partner, simply avoiding answering back is not going to be enough to deepen your relationship. You may also need to work on the style of your communication, your helpfulness, your ability to empathise, knowing when to compromise, etc. So, avoiding answering back only has a small impact.
- Have you given it enough time? Most ‘unlucky’ people tend to give up too soon with success just around the corner. As a culture we seem to have been seduced by the idea of instant results and instant gratification as if it is our right. But anything worthwhile takes time.
- Are your efforts consistent? Doing a lot of different things inconsistently is unlikely to work. So, if you are worried about your finances, it isn’t enough to simply find a better paying job or to find a new credit card with zero interest if your relationship with money doesn’t change – this requires a consistent approach. You are simply buying time before you experience further problems.
- If there was a learning in this for you, what would it be? I love this question. It helps you move out of ‘poor me’ thinking into the deeper meaning of a situation. For example, let’s say you have been working towards getting a particular job and you didn’t get it. Perhaps the learning may be that the job you were aiming for was the one you thought you should But, if you were being really honest with yourself, didn’t really fill you with joy even though you thought it would impress others. Sometimes in asking the question about what learning is there, people slip further into ‘poor me’ mode such as “Nothing good happens to me”. But there is always a positive learning, one which is empowering, liberating or enlightening. So, with the job example, the learning might be to be a lot more particular about what is right for you rather than what will impress others.
- How good are you at spotting things going right? Sometimes we are so focussed on what is going wrong that we miss the good stuff, including opportunities. Whether you believe in the law of attraction or not, this can really interfere with your ability to build on what’s good, and your ability to attract good experiences, both of which have a direct impact on whether you feel lucky.
It is really worth looking at how you are getting in your own way. Hopefully these questions will help point you in the right direction but, if you need more help, do get in touch on 0345 130 0854 so we can see where you need to make changes so your luck gets better!
© Tricia Woolfrey
We all go through difficult times – if you are engaged in life, you can’t avoid them no matter how strong you are, or enlightened.
So, since they can’t be avoided, the real question is what you can do to help yourself pull through a difficult time. There are three principles I want to share with you that should make the transition easier.
Three principles to help you pull through a difficult time Continue reading
This is Stress Awareness Month so it is a good time to reflect on the signs you may be stressed. Why? Because some people are so good at just pushing through that they miss important warning signs.
Why does this matter? Because if you ignore the signs for too long, you are at risk of either burnout or breakdown. You don’t want this to be you, or someone you care about because recovery time can be a year or more.
So, knowledge is power. It allows you to spot the signs and take corrective action so you protect yourself. Prevention is always better than cure.
Here are my top ten signs of stress that I notice with my clients:
1. IBS symptoms
8. Difficulty concentrating
9. Loss of humour
10. An increase in distracting behaviour such as comfort eating, smoking, drinking, social media, online shopping, gambling, etc.
How many of these do you tick? Just one can be a sign of stress. Of course, there might be other factors which are causing the symptoms. Either way, it is worth having an assessment to see what’s happening for you and what you can do about it.
Call me on 0345 130 0854 to find out how I can help you. You’ll be glad you did.
© Tricia Woolfrey
PS To find out more about how I work with stress, check this out.
There are many reasons why someone may be carrying more weight than they want to. And it’s rarely as simple as calories-in versus calories-out.
Our relationship with food is complicated. We first associate food with comfort when we are born and nurse at our mothers’ breast. Most of us have experienced an adult offering us a biscuit or a sweet to cheer us up. So that link between negative feelings and using food to soothe is reinforced as we grow. the more it happens, the more it becomes a habit.
It isn’t a decision we consciously make. Nor is it one Continue reading
Are you the kind of person whose anger gets them in a spot of bother every now and again? You wouldn’t be alone.
Or are you the kind of person who never gets angry? Again, you wouldn’t be alone.
But if you are the kind of person who ‘never gets angry’ that is not healthy. At all. The reason will be revealed in the following myths around anger management. And if your anger has consequences you had not intended, these myths may also help.
So, let’s have a look at what those myths are: Continue reading
Three weeks into the New Year and we have hit what is now called Blue Monday – said to be the most depressing day of the year.
This article will share with you possible causes and what you can do about them.
Post Christmas slump
Christmas preparations and celebrations take up so much mental and physical energy that, whether you had a good Christmas or not, it can make January feel like a big yawn stretching out before you.
Possible Cure: Get yourself a planner and plot some things you would like to do this year to make it a really good one. They don’t have to be big or expensive, just nice things to look forward to.
Relationship(s) under strain
With all that enforced confinement and jollity, relationships can become quite stressful. Continue reading
The expectation of Christmas is one of perfectly orchestrated joy, goodwill, hearty food and glorious gifts. We try so hard to achieve perfection that it really interferes with achieving it at all. Christmas TV ads are tugging at our heartstrings (and our purses); magazines are filled with tips on how to make the best of the festivities, Christmas songs are playing on the radio; shops are filled with gifts to delight our loved ones; and the supermarket shelves are filled with produce to grace our tables and expand our waistlines. It seems that all that’s missing is the snow. The pressure to spend and please are enormous. Yes, Christmas can be stressful.
It can feel overwhelming, and for some, a lonely time. I don’t know about you, but I think it’s time to turn the pressure off and The Real Spirit of Christmas on, especially for those who are going through a hard time. Here are my tips:
Co-dependence can be described as the need for a person to be a certain way in order for you to be OK. If you are more concerned with others’ needs than your own, is this selflessness or is it co-dependence? If you find yourself regularly ‘rescuing’ others, not only is this an indicator for co-dependence but it also means you are denying them the gift of growth. Any painful experience is an invitation to learn and grow from it. We can’t if we are being rescued. So, painful as it may be to hear, before you know it, you could become part of the problem, rather than part of the solution, even if it doesn’t feel that way. So, here are three steps to help you overcome it: Continue reading
I was reading an article about The Crown star Claire Foy for whom the stress of filming, motherhood, and the breakdown of her marriage left her with exhaustion and infection, necessitating six weeks off work.
If you are someone who pushes yourself through stressors, or find that too many things are happening at once, the stress can come out in physical symptoms such as fatigue, migraines, IBS, or a lowered immune system, amongst other things.
The problem is that when self-care is so far down your list of priorities, you put yourself at risk of burnout (in Claire’s case) or breakdown. It’s just too big a burden for the body to carry.
As Claire said “You can keep yourself going for a long time, and that’s what I have pretty much been doing since I gave birth. My body has paid the price.” Continue reading
Are you the kind of person who allows life to unfold? Or the kind who likes to plan your route?
There are pros and cons to both. With the former (allowing life to unfold), you can enjoy the scenery, and any surprises on the way. Some of the surprises will be good ones, others less so. But you may end up somewhere you didn’t want to be. And you may also find that you experience more problems that you had expected. More an unravelling than an unfolding. Continue reading