When you find that history keeps repeating itself, if it’s a negative pattern, it is time to start looking at why. Having the same problem echo over and over like a stuck record can stand in the way of getting to where you want to in your life. Looking at what you can do about it is the subject of this article, because you don’t just have to be a passive observer of life’s events: you can start to be creative about getting more of what you want, and less of what you don’t.
There are a number of factors which could be at the root of this negative pattern and I want to share some of them with you:
Lack of Clarity
It may be that you are focusing on what you don’t want rather than what you do want. Be clear about the positive outcome you want to achieve and your mind finds it easier to work towards it. This can be particularly difficult if you don’t know what you want but it isn’t what you’ve got!
Possible solution: State what you don’t want (negative outcome) and then convert it to the alternative (positive outcome). Make sure that it is specific and clear as it will be a kind of template for your unconscious mind to work towards.
It may be that you are working hard on what you want but you get side-tracked by the day to day so you don’t have sufficient momentum or traction to make inroads.
Possible solution: Learn how to say no – often we are side-tracked by others’ priorities so we never achieve our own. Alternatively, learning to prioritise effectively will help hugely.
If you are making the same mistakes over and over, it may be because you are thinking about it in exactly the same way. And because you are thinking about it in the same way, you treat it the same way. This, of course, leads to the same results.
Possible solution: Think of someone you know who would deal with your issue easily. What would they do differently? This is a great way of accessing your creative mind. Something which seems impossible can suddenly seem easier when you think about it as if you were someone else. It can be fun too! My book Think Positive, Feel Good also has a simple strategy to transform your thinking.
How you Manage Mistakes
Making mistakes is a natural part of life. The only way to avoid them is not to do anything. Mistakes are an essential part of progress and learning. So, if you are in a repeat pattern it is likely you are not learning or applying the learning to your situation.
Possible solution: Learn the positive lessons from your mistakes so that nothing is wasted.
Sometimes there are benefits to a problem that you are not consciously aware of and these can keep you stuck and frustrated.
Possible solution: Ask yourself, if there was any benefit to this problem at all, what would it be? And gently wait for the response. Practically everyone has a secondary gain to their stuckness. Common ones include that it feels familiar, fear of failure, fear of success (having to live up to a bigger ideal or losing friends who are comfortable with you as you are). It can be that other people rescue you, or you don’t have to try too hard. It is a complex area but very enlightening. Once you understand the secondary gains, work out a better way of achieving them in a way which doesn’t keep you stuck.
Of course there are many ways to solve a problem – or break a pattern - but hopefully this article helps you make the shift you need. If you need additional support, do feel free to contact me on 0345 130 0854 for a no obligation chat.
© Tricia Woolfrey