When two people argue and there seems no way to resolve it, there are factors at play which interfere with the truth. Continue reading
I’ve been helping people for over 20 years now and something has become really clear: people can come up with all kinds of explanations to not doing those things which will help them transform their lives. These come principally in two guises. A reason or an excuse. But, what’s the difference? And does it matter? Let’s look at the difference first: Continue reading
I’m not sure whether your life is on-track or off-track. I’m not even sure if you had a plan for your life at all. But for many, life is not quite panning out. You will know if life isn’t on track if you feel a sense of frustration or ‘is this it?’. Or maybe you lack balance in your life or a sense of flow and fulfillment.
So, I thought I would share with you 10 possible reasons for this. There are, of course, many more. See if any of these are true for you, even a little. Because you only have to be 1% out to find yourself a few years down the line far away from your intended destination:
- You haven’t clearly defined what’s important to you. This means that everything you do is a reaction, dispersing your efforts and energies in directions that don’t serve you.
- You are living your life according to other people’s values, expectations and needs, doing what you feel you ‘should’ do rather than what you want to do. This can cause you to lose a sense of your ‘self’.
- You are saying ‘yes’ to things you want to say ‘no’ to and ‘no’ to things you want to say ‘yes’ to.
- You are not prioritising things which would give you a sense of progress – maybe because of time, of a feeling of not deserving, or an unconscious self-sabotage.
- Fear is holding you back. Perhaps fear of failure, of success, of being thought selfish, etc.
- Your priorities change according to who is shouting loudest rather than what is most important and this impedes your sense of flow.
- You bought into the concept that what you have matters more than who you are.
- People-pleasing is your master.
- You don’t have a plan.
- You need some additional skills and resources to help you, ie assertiveness, clarity, focus, time management, influence, conflict management, or something else which will really make a difference.
So, I would invite you to consider whether any of the above are blocking you. Then ask yourself if there are any other reasons. Then, either make yourself a plan, or make an appointment for a session to get yourself back on track. It is never too soon and it is never too late. But, as the old saying goes, there is no time like the present.
As always, if you have any questions, do feel free to contact me on 0345 130 0854. It’s good to talk.
Sometimes we sail through life at such speed, we are unaware of what’s happening to us or the effect this is having. However, stress has consequences on your life, your relationships , your career and your health, often by stealth.
Stressors have multiple minor sources (eg losing your keys); or a couple of things which are low level but consistent and slowly eroding your resilience (eg a neighbour who keeps taking your parking space); or it may be something huge which has happened to you, whether long ago, or recently. Continue reading
Most of us have habits we want to break, traits we want to refine or skills we want to develop. But it can be hard. Why? Because we are working against ingrained programming that have developed over our lifetime. Some of them are inherited traits (nature) and others have formed through the passage of time (nurture).
However, just because this is part of your programming, doesn’t mean you are stuck with them for life. The principles of neuroplasticity prove that you can, literally, change your mind.
The brain forms connections each time something is Continue reading
It is both Stress Awareness Month and IBS Awareness Month. I am sure this wasn’t planned but it couldn’t have been more apt because they are very linked. Although it is possible to have IBS symptoms purely because of poor gastro-intestinal health or food intolerances, I have found that most of my clients symptoms are much worse when they are stressed.
So, what is IBS? Irritable Bowel Syndrome is a collection of symptoms which are connected to the gut. Common ones include diarrhoea, constipation, bloating, stomach cramps and wind.
It can be both painful and embarrassing and some of my clients have a severely impacted social life because of it, or days off from work when it is at its worst. Continue reading
Whatever you believe to be true about life, one thing is certain – time passes whether you like it or not. This, in turn, means that one of three things have happened:
1. You have moved closer to your goals
2. You have stayed where you are
3. You have slipped backwards
Today is tomorrow’s yesterday and whatever decisions you make today will affect your tomorrows.
On the other hand, it’s encouraging to know that any difficulties you anticipate will soon be part of your yesterdays. But also the habits and behaviours you repeat become stronger each time they are repeated.
We frequently subordinate our long term goals and dreams for short term comfort or ease but we pay a price: a life unfulfilled. And then regrets follow.
Isn’t it easier to take those steps now so you are constantly progressing? Even slow progress is better than no progress. Each action you take means the painful past is further away and doesn’t have to affect you any more, unless you let it.
Simple, but not necessarily easy. But then, all things worthwhile are difficult before they are easy, aren’t they?
So what habits would you like to start today which will make your tomorrows richer?
Remember, today is the future you created yesterday.
Remember too that if you need any help creating a better tomorrow, call for a no obligation chat. I can be reached on 0345 130 0854.
It was Einstein who said that you can’t fix a problem with the same thinking that caused it. This is one of the reasons why people stay stuck. Not for the want of trying. But it can feel like a constant internal battle which drains your energy and your confidence. Not only that but it can take you in the opposite direction to where you want to be. Maybe a millimetre at a time so you hardly notice at first, but before long you are way off track, and finding your way back can seem like wading up a treacle-draped mountain in ill-fitting slippers and with your eyes closed.
Many people are guided by poor role models, past experiences, habits or fear. And efforts can be limited by not having the right experiences or the right insights to develop the results you are looking for. But what to do about it? Continue reading
A few days into 2017 and already many New Year’s Resolutions will be faltering, despite best intentions. This isn’t because people are weak but because the psyche is complicated. Knowing how to navigate the obstacles to achieve what you want for yourself is important if you are serious about making change happen. Most resolutions are about breaking bad habits. This is trickier than learning a new skill because first of all you are unlearning another skill – one which has become a default pattern and which you can do without thinking. Change, therefore requires thought and attention.
This article shares with you five top reasons that change is difficult and what you can do about them.
With just a few weeks to go, are you looking forward to Christmas or dreading it? Does the prospect of spending enforced time with relatives worry you? Are you anxious about getting into debt at Christmas or making a fool of yourself at the office Christmas party?
Christmas is the most stressful time of the year so here are my tips to survive it: